Where From? Where Now?

This evening didn’t go quite as planned.

But that is pretty normal in this project.

The person I was meant to meet didn’t turn up. I am having to learn to let go of being so used to having a set structure or daily target for my work and let things unfold much more as they happen. I bumped into her later on, so we did get the chance to talk in the end. Flexibility and time is key in this project.

Watching and waiting for the person I was meant to meet.

But I was out already, so rather than head home I thought I’d go on a wander and see what happened. It was my first evening being out on my own rather than with Outreach teams or someone introducing me. The area was safe and busy and it was early on so i felt comfortable in that respect. But when I came across a lady begging I wasn’t so sure how to approach her.  It is taking a long time to build up trust with the women I am working with in the hostel and I didn’t know how she would feel with me walking straight up to her like this nor what she would feel about my project.  But if I didn’t try I’d never know.  And 15 mins later I was still crouched down chatting away.

A man begs on the streets of London. It is much more common to see men out on the streets than women.

There are no photos to show or audio to play.  But we talked alot.  Some things are too specific for me to write about until i have her consent, but others backed up what many other women have told me.  You are often bullied by men, or asked if you are ‘working’ by passers by. The streets are terrifying places to be as a woman.   And so women will remain hidden either behind a partner or friend on the street, or will stay off the streets completely.  This lady sofa surfs alot and just comes out when she needs money. And only then. If she sleeps out she stays protected by a male friend of hers.  Never on her own.

I really hope she does want to talk again as she has so much to say that gives a real insight into the lives of homeless women.  We went through the consent form and she showed a definite interest.  But no photos or anything tonight.  I will keep in touch, i have her phone number and will see if we can meet again.  But for now i had to stop wasting precious time for her as she had to earn some money.

Last Saturday reminded me how full London is with things going on. This city is bursting but I find weeks disappear and they pass me by. Luckily this time I caught some of it with Hazel, the voice of the last post, up on the roof gardens on the South Bank.

The Choir with No Name sing their heart out amongst the flowers on The Queen Elizabeth Hall Roof Garden

I’m handing over to Hazel to tell you some more:

At the South Bank the past weeks have seen so many inspirational events happening as part of the ‘London Fringe Festival’, some still going. Young people performing dance, music and poetry coming together and showing what wonderful talent and commitment there is in London’s communities.

On Saturday I went to the Queen Elizabeth Hall and ascended to the top in the open, (even though I sell the Big Issue just around the corner near Waterloo Station I’d never been aware that this venue existed!). A choir was singing. The performance was by ‘The Choir with No Name’. This is a group of people who are, or have been, homeless as well as men and women who have hit rock bottom with nowhere to turn. It was wonderful. To me it gave a sense of pride. Homelessness is not a choice and to see people coming together and working as a team with such a sense of joy and togetherness was truly inspirational for everyone.

Inspirational, energetic Marie Benton in full swing - founder and director of The Choir with No Name

and here's Hazel loving it

I definitely recommend keeping an eye out for the choir’s next gig.

As part of this project I’m working with outreach teams to look at the lives of women sleeping rough on London’s streets.  So far I’ve been out on an early morning and two night shifts. The teams follow up on referrals or go to places where they’ve seen homeless people sleeping before. We were looking in bin cupboards, disused rubbish-strewn carparks, stairwells, electricity cupboards, doorways and under bridges.

Before I first went out I had conversations with people about the kinds of places rough sleepers are found. So I thought I was ready (as ready as you can be) to be looking into damp, dark, dirty rubbish bin cupboards and elsewhere. But the reality of seeing where people are having to resort to sleeping left me completely cold.

We only found two women, but saw up to 20 men across these three trips which backs up the stats that just 11% of London’s rough sleepers are women. Yet the stories I am hearing from women who are, or have been, homeless suggests that there are many more women out there.

I spoke to Hazel who slept rough for three and a half years. I was introduced to her through the Sock Mob, a volunteer network working with homeless people in London (have a read on their site). She lives independently now, but still has a close connection with men and women who are sleeping rough.  Each day after Hazel’s finished selling the Big Issue she spends time talking and listening.  She speaks passionately about the issues facing the city’s homeless people.

The story of Hazel finally getting rehoused is for another blog post, but she was not picked up by outreach teams throughout the time she spent ‘on the streets’. You have to be seen sleeping rough for outreach teams to be able to help you, but as you will hear in the clip below (by Hazel), this system isn’t working for a lot of women who look for any option to avoid sleeping out where they will be visible.

As women continue to find alternative places to sleep, they remain hidden from view where outreach and services can’t reach them. But, as Hazel explained, the risks of sleeping out (the only option if they are to be found by outreach teams) are just too high.  So how can services start to reach these women?

Earlier today I met with a woman who has asked to remain anonymous.

She is currently staying in a temporary shelter that provides short-term accommodation for rough sleepers for up to three weeks.

She is a well-educated woman. At the age of 13, she was raiding her father’s library, reading high-brow political books like Sacco and Vanzetti and the diaries of Guevara.  By 16, she was already working on her A-levels, but made the decision to leave school before taking the exams.

We have met a number of times over the last few weeks, and I have seen her motivation and morale improve massively as things started moving forward in terms of finding next stage accommodation. She now has a bed waiting for her at a women’s hostel, dependent on proof of benefits.

Today, when I saw her she looked absolutely exhausted and very stressed. She told me “I want to start working again, but despite having signed for Job Seekers Allowance twice and the benefits people telling me my National Insurance number, they told me there was no sign of a claim for me in their system.”

This was how she described how she felt:

“So that kind of brings me back to square one a little bit.

“I feel actually quite de-motivated about putting the effort into looking for jobs that I was looking for. It’s very draining. It’s not knowing. It’s the uncertainty. I’m tagged as anonymous for the blog and yes, you feel very anonymous and at the same time very observed. Every intricacy of your life has to be available for examination by people who don’t have a face, who you’ve never met, whose names you don’t know. Yet at the same time you’re just so invisible and dispensable. It’s really surreal.

“When I’m trying to make appointments, the attitude from people is very much that you have all the time in the world that you can drop everything and run at a minutes notice or just hang around waiting three hours for a phone call that doesn’t come. Obviously nobody appreciates the anxiety that occurs in those three hours and actually the reality is that chasing all this up is practically a full time job in itself.

“St Mungo’s have been really good, but the fear is there, the fear is definitely there of having to sleep rough.”

I was struggling to find a name for the blog.  Ideas that came up like ‘hidden women’ turned out to be phrases or websites commonly in use.  It was when I sat down with the women in the hostel that I started to get somewhere.

I asked them to say in a word or a phrase how they feel about their situation.

Keeley, a 29 year old resident in the hostel, is often coming up with catch phrases.  I knew she was bright and really great with words, but what she sat down and wrote stopped me in my tracks (click on the picture to see it in more detail):

There were themes from Keeley’s work that came up across what the other women wrote.  A feeling of being lost, confused, not knowing if they are coming or going, but wanting to move on.  Their words inspired the name.

…an open journal of the stories and views of homeless women in London.

Over the next eight months I will spend two days each week working on this project. Through this blog I want to share with you the opinions and experiences of the women I meet and the service providers who work with them.

In many cases women may not want to tell their stories straight away and in some cases, maybe never. So I am building up an insight into their lives over time and I want to use this blog to share that process with you. I will post about what I see, hear and learn as it unfolds. I really hope you find it informative and interesting and I look forward to any comments and discussions that follow…

So, in a word: welcome!